29 weeks

Here's a pic from last week. 

HOW ON EARTH CAN HE KEEP GETTING BIGGER FOR 10 MORE WEEKS!?  And yes, thank you for asking, I am sure that there is just 1 in there. 

A few more observations:

- Yes, that is a double chin creeping in that you are seeing.

- No, I wasn't aware either that you also carry babies in your ass. 

- No, I can't wear my wedding rings right now because of my sausage fingers (I DID buy a big fakey at Target that I'll be sure to show you at another time).

- Yes, that bear on the chair is wearing a newborn diaper.

- Thanks, Lise, for letting me borrow the jeans.  Hopefully they won't be sent back to you stretched out like Andre the Giant (theme of the evening) has been wearing them for the last few months.

Ranting and Raving

I am e x t r e m e l y close to flying into a pregnancy-related I-can't-sleep-since-I'm-so-uncomfortable-but-even-if-I-could-sleep-I-wouldn't-be-able-to-anyway-because-Andre-the-Giant-and-his-family-upstairs-have-decided-to-either-put-on-a-jump-rope-competition-or-a-parade-right-now-and-it-sounds-as-if-my-ceilings-are-going-to-collapse-at-any-moment rage, so I thought I would catch up on the blog.

I swear I am not just a drama queen (well, ok, I know that I am, but that is beside the point).  A few weeks ago we had to dismantle our kitchen light fixture because it sounded like it was going to come flying off the ceiling at any moment because of The Giants and their performances upstairs. 

See, we weren't quite ready to buy a house here yet so thought that we were making the right move by doing apartment living for just one more year.  [Thought process:  Aren't we being smart by renting an apartment so that we don't have to worry about maintenance on a rented house, or even trash pickup for that matter?  Think of all the money we'll save!  I was also terrified of burglars if we moved into a house - true story.]  Clearly I'm not really feeling that way at this moment, since along with apartment living comes neighbors, and neighbors are becoming less appealing by the second.  And by less appealing by the second, I mean I loathe them. 

I can't wait until Logan is here for a million reasons, but reason #1,000,001 is so that we can get revenge on The Giants upstairs.  Sukahs!  WAAAH WAAAAH!  Oh, you hear baby crying?  Ahahhaha can't sleep?  Too bad so sad!  (Yikes, is she always this scary?  And does she always sound foreign when she's angry?  THE ANSWER IS YES.) 


THIS is what I am sure is happening upstairs every night,
except add in a few big parade floats and a jump rope.

Oh no and now Sox is looking at something VERY intently which usually means some sort of deadly insect, but he's staring in the air so maybe our apartment is haunted, too.  That's all I need.  (DEBBIE DOWNER ALERT - WAHH WAHHHHHHH!)  OMG now he is pawing at nothing at the air.  AH!!

I am sure he is looking at a ghost.

Well, I had intended this post to be about the joys of the past Thanksgiving holiday, so maybe I'll just start fresh tomorrow with that one since I feel like this current post might be tainted with a wee bit of negative energy.  BUT, I will leave you with some exciting news - which is even more exciting to me at this moment since The Giants are still at it - I think we are going to build a house!  Willis is sold on the idea, but I'm still not 100% on board... mainly because I fear that we would never finish it since I would never be able to make up my mind on flooring choices, cabinet finishes, etc.  I am certain that I would walk by my cabinets every day thinking, "oh, maybe I should have gone with the darker hue.  Oh, or maybe not.  Do I even like these?" 

Here's to hoping for everyone's sake that I wake up on the right side of the bed tomorrow............

Procrastinating

I have no idea why I'm writing this right now, considering I haven't started cleaning my house yet, or made it to the grocery store - two of the only items I had on my to do list today.  But I had lunch with a real estate agent, and what I thought was going to just be a quick lunch turned into us going on a homes tour of a relatively new housing development just outside of Austin.  SOOOO that took up a chunk of my day. 

Thought I'd quickly let you know that since this is Cath and Aaron's first time to Austin, I am trying to make James drive them to this REALLY run down trailer park on the way home from the airport and telling them that's where we live.  But maybe that's mean and bad karma like we are making fun of those people?  But I'm really not, I just thought it would be funny.  But now you've made me feel all bad about it so maybe we won't do it....
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh and PS - I downloaded this countdown ticker on my desktop - currently there are 73 days, 19 hours, 39 minutes and 29 seconds until my due date.  I was off my count yesterday by a few days - HOORAY!

Don't Panic

I keep flip flopping on whether or not I feel like 76 days is a long time or not a long time, but at this moment I'm thinking it's not a long time.  You see, in addition to our b-feeding and Lamaze classes, I'm making poor Willis also take a baby care class AND an infant CPR class.  One can never be too prepared, right!?  My doctor's office also offers the baby care class, but it is taught by the nurse assigned to me who I just so happen to LOATHE.  We call her Smokey Joe because she always reeks of butts (cigarette butts, not the human kind of butts), and lately I've been replacing that J in Joe with an H.  (In case you are wondering I love love love my doctor, so I'm willing to put up with SH.)  So, we are driving to another hospital to take the baby care class.  The reason I am telling you all this?  Well, when I checked out the schedule at the other hospital, there were only TWO CLASSES WE COULD TAKE THAT ARE BEFORE MY DUE DATE.  aaah! 

I'm not really sure that taking all of these classes will really do anything for me or not, considering the way I typically react in a panicked situation anyway.  I'm quite certain that I'm someone that you don't want around if there is some sort of emergency going on.  I would be NO help whatsoever, no matter what kind of training I might have had.  In fact, I'd probably start hyperventilating and take away from the actual emergency. 

Just today I had a bit of a close call on the way out of our complex.  Before you go geting all worried, don't fret - it wasn't life threatening or even close to that, but you'd never know that by the way I reacted.  I was trying to follow a truck out of the automatic gate so that I didn't have to wait for it to open again, when it started to close - very quickly - about a millimeter away from the car.  I immediately floored it, then slammed on the breaks, then floored it again - all while clutching the steering wheel, white knuckled, yelling "AAAAAAH!!!!!!"  I was so flustered that I had to pull over at a gas station once I made it out of the building.  When I told Willis about it, he said "you know if that happens again, you can just hit the button and it will open back up."  Right.  That button that I always hit that always opens the gate. 

It didn't even occur to me. 

Can I tell you how excited I am for Thanksgiving?!  Catherine and Aaron are coming to Texas and we are having Thanksgiving like grown ups, just the 4 of us.   Like an 80 year old (no offense, Mom and Dad - J.U.S.T K.I.D.D.I.N.G) I have been fretting for a week about the best time to go grocery shopping in order to beat the rush.  I talk about it every day - debating on which day, which time of day, etc. is going to be the least crowded.  Last week I was about to ask the checkout girl her thoughts until she dropped my rotisserie chicken on the ground and I figured I couldn't really trust her judgement after all.  So, I'm still undecided, which means I'm waiting until the last minute, which means I won't be beating the rush.  I also feel like I have to separate Thanksgiving shopping from regular shopping.  I was at the grocery store TODAY, in fact, and saw a few things I knew were on the Thanksgiving list but I thought, "no no I can't get that now, I need to wait for the Thanksgiving grocery trip."  Demented. 

We were behind this tool the other day.
Who gets that as their license plate?!
Seriously. 

I Guess I'm a Worrier

Why did Pink have to go ruining her new song with the "if you're too SCHOOL for COOL" line?  I find it so annoying and of course it is the only portion of that song that gets stuck in my head.  Just thought I'd share - and maybe get it in your head, too - so we are in this together.  And while we are on the music topic, I'm still undecided on whether or not I like Rihanna. 

Yesterday Willis and I were eating lunch next to this tree at one of our favorite places in Austin.  Willis was humoring me by eating outside as he would much prefer sit at the bar, but I pulled the "oh but I'm afraid of falling out of those high bar stools and hurting the baby!" which he couldn't very well argue with...and sadly, it's true.  I guess I'm a worrier... THAT'S WHY MY FRIENDS CALL ME WHISKERS!  (never gets old)

Anyway, I got sad looking at this tree.  This thing has been around forever, and then someone had to go and drill lighting into it.  I asked Willis if he thought the tree was sad about it, and he said no and also pointed out that it didn't have a central nervous system so it didn't hurt, either, but it still made me sad. 

Here is an example of my thought process these days.  Last night we were watching some show on Food Network (yes our lives are super exciting these days) and Willis said, "look at that kid - that's gonna be Logan one day!"  And I noticed that the kid was eating a hot dog - which made me immediately think of choking - and I said, "oh chew it chew it, don't choke!" then said, "speaking of, we need to find that baby CPR class to take."  CAN YOU SAY NEUROTIC?!  Poor Logan.  I probably won't let him get his driver's license until he needs to drive himself to the alter.  Speaking of Logan, he is not messing around about this whole me not allowed to sleep on my right side gig.  This morning I thought if I was really quiet about it, like a bunny, that I would trick him and he wouldn't know.  WRONG!  I was sent airborne by one of hardest kicks I have ever felt.  Logan wins again! 

Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure. 

Doesn't Willis look funny here?  He reminds me of an ant
when they carry those big crumbs on their backs.

Doesn't Daisy look sweet here?  Well, she's not.  She's been
guarding the litter box so poor Sox can't go and also
randomly attacking him.  Daisy is #1 on my shit list right now.

We love sitting in wet showers. 

TMI

Don't worry, I'm not going to post a picture of the stretch marks that I found recently that seem to have been hiding from me.  But I'll tell you all about them.  They are the REAL DEAL, ladies and gentlemen.  The real deal.  I had gotten a bit cocky thinking that the $50 tiny vial of prego woman stretch mark prevention stuff had really worked, and I think it is for that reason they happened.  I jinxed it big time.  I gasped when I saw them for the first time, and also shouted for Willis to HURRY! for a second opinion to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.  I wasn't.  Willis told me that they aren't that bad, but he's lying [smart man] - they are.  Like deep ridges.  Grand Canyon-ish. 

Interruption for one brief second:  Logan is kicking me to death right now!  I think he wants to tell you all hello.  Or maybe the hot laptop is giving him swass.  Did I tell you he also doesn't like it when I try and sleep on my right side?  He jams his elbow into my hip until I roll back over.  Then he's nice and happy and leaves me alone.  It was really funny for a few days but now my left side goes completely numb every morning because I can't roll over.  Logan!  (It's ok, Logan.  Shh it's ok.)

OK - back.  The other night Willis looked over as I was intently staring at my belly and said, "aw, is Logan kicking again?" to which I answered, "no, he's sleeping.  I'm just playing with this inch-long hair that has sprouted beside my belly button.  Wanna see it?"  (He didn't.)  It's not a gross hair or anything - just a tiny white wisp that just seems to keep getting longer.  It's nice and soft, too. 

See, I think most people don't openly talk about stuff like stretch marks and rogue wispy hairs as a matter of practice.  Probably for good reason, you say?  Well, I just can't seem to stop sharing.  If someone asks me a question, I'm going to answer it.  Honestly.  (I don't mean total strangers, mind you.)  Wrong or not, it's who I am.  We were out to dinner with a friend of mine from college the other night who was asking me prego-related questions (she and her husband decided they are not having kids - and yes, they arrived at that decision BEFORE they dined with me).  "How are you sleeping?"  "Like shit."  "Are you uncomfortable?"  "Generally speaking, yes."  "Do you like being pregnant?"  "I like several aspects of being pregnant, sure." 

We were laughing about it, but then on the way home I asked Willis, "do you think that when most people are asked how they are feeling about things, they just answer that everything is great, and don't complain?"  And to be honest, I actually can't remember what his answer was, because I'm too tired from not sleeping (due to my horrific back pain)... 

I'm sure you are dying to know his answer, so I'll be sure to ask him - maybe in the middle of the night when we are in one of our [nightly] sleep wars over his snoring.  He is usually half asleep, so he says really catchy things that don't make any sense after I scream at him.  The other night (after I yelled at him to roll over and shut-the-f-up) his offering to the fight table was, "ZIIIING!"  And I said, "Zing?!  That's what you've got!?"  To which he rolled back over and started snoring again.  A personal favorite and old standby is when he screams, "excuse me for breathing!" 

Night!

I would have already shoved a sock in his
mouth if I was that woman. 

Baahahhahahaaaa

I'm taking a break from a painting project for Logan's room (and by painting project I mean recreating a couple of paintings that I found online... and I use the term  "recreating" because I feel like that sounds better than COPYING).  Who needs to buy art when you have a Michael's right down the street?  Not this girl.  No sir.  Well maybe this girl.  We'll see how it goes.

Is it illegal to do that?  I think it is.  But how do they know that I didn't have the same idea in my head the whole time and just came across the pictures coincidentally?  I'd like to post the pictures but I'm afraid that I'll get caught by the internet copyright police.  I MEAN BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE READING MY BLOG AND ALL.  And I'm sure that the artist would come across it immediately and get angry, so I'll play it safe.  Plus my picture upload tool is being a tool and doesn't seem to be allowing me to upload them. 

I am sure that you are just dying to see them, so maybe once the nursery is all nice and done you can play I Spy once I post pictures.  I'll give you a hint - they have a blue background and have baby lambs, moons and stars on them.

The lamb looked kind of like this.

Speaking of baby lambs....  Baby lambs make me think back to my college days when Catherine and I had the great idea that we were going to buy a little baby lamb and keep it in the backyard as a pet.  We got the idea on the way to go pick up some kegs for a party we were having that night, and ended up stopping on the way home at some random farm.  How we knew that farm existed and that there were baby lambs for sale is beyond me, because wasn't this before the internet existed?  Maybe there were Lambs For Sale! signs at the keg warehouse. 

We thought that we could build a shed for it out back, and instead of having to worry about its mess, we were going to have it wear a diaper.  We cooked up this whole plan on the way home and told the rest of our roommates about it, who shockingly didn't seem as excited as we were about it.  I asked Cath about it today and she remembers that we were going to try and keep it in the backyard of a fraternity house where we used to hang out, but I guess that plan didn't really come to fruition, either.  It's funny - both of our memories are a bit foggy from back in those days.  I wonder why. 

I also wonder what that baby lamb is doing now........   

Here is a pic of Cath and me waaaay back in the day.
Little did we know at the time she was gonna
MARRY MY BROTHER! 
And I'm clearly sucking in my stomach here.
Oh and I am just holding that cigarette for someone.