Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite

In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have mentioned to my mother that the Park Plaza Hotel (where we are all staying this weekend in Boston) had recent bedbug reports.  I shouldn't have even gone looking for the information to begin with, but I guess I'm just a worrier - that's why my friends call me whiskers!  (That's for all of you Harry Caray / Will Ferrell fans out there...) 
 

 

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From: Ali
Sent: Wednesday, October 20, 2010 5:04 PM
To: Mom and Dad

Subject:

I couldn’t help it – I looked up the Park Plaza in Boston on the bed bug registry.  Let’s just say that we don’t want to stay on the 5^th floor. 

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From: Mom and Dad

Sent: Wednesday, October 20, 2010 7:14 PM
To: Ali
Subject: RE:

OMG- what should we do???

m 

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I've been fretting about this information for the last 12 hours or so, but I feel better now that I have The Plan.  I'm going to fight back.  We thought of switching hotels, but it seems most hotels in Boston have had recent bbg (I can't even type the word anymore it's so NASTY) reports, and we also already paid for the room since we used AmEx points.  I called the front desk and told them not to put either of our rooms on the 5th floor (where it seems the bbgs have taken up residence), but I don't think that is enough.

Here's The Plan.  Please note Willis thinks I am completely neurotic, but this girl is going to do everything she can to not bring bbgs home to live in her heavenly Sterns and Foster bed. 

- As soon as we get to the room, we are putting our bags in the bathroom, where they will stay. On the luggage rack, in the shower.


- Willis will be lifting the mattress up and doing a major inspection around the room while I hide in the bathroom with the bags. 


- I'm taking a bunch of big ziplock bags (aren't there sizes that people can store toys in and stuff?) for our dirty clothes (note the clothes are not allowed to touch the floor or any of the chairs in the room).


- We'll do hair checks before we leave like these monkeys do.  I've been studying the video.  They are so thorough!  The only difference - if I do find a bbg on Willis, I won't eat it, and I probably won't sit next to him on the plane, either.  

Smokey the Bear says only YOU can prevent bbg infestations!!!!!! 

Hair

I would consider myself very low maintenance when it comes to hair.  Since moving to Texas, nine times out of ten I don't even take a dryer to it - I just slick it back into a bun.  I'm not sure it's the most becoming 'do in the world, but hair drying to me ranks up there with cleaning... I find it almost unbearable.

I stopped by a random hair place in a strip mall last week for a trim (see first paragraph), since it had been months and months since my last cut.  I didn't want ANY funny business - no layers, nothing - just a trim.  Each time I'm in the haircut hot seat I feel like I'm bullied into a cut I don't want, similar to going to My Nails in Boston for a brow wax (you're on the table with a hot wax stick waving an inch above your face while they keep saying, "Uppah Lih?  Uppah Lih?" until you have to physically restrain them from waxing your upper lip). 

But, I digress.

Once again, even though in my head I said that I would be firm about TRIM ONLY, I had no choice but to go ahead with Margot's plan.  "I can under-cut it so it curls under on it's own!"  Go for it, Margot.  "How about a few layers to frame your face?"  That sounds great, Margot.  Once again I was defeated. 

I used to be a much bigger risk-taker with my hair.  When I first lived in Boston I decided that I wanted the cut that Gwyneth Paltrow had in my favorite movie at the time, Sliding Doors.  Picture in hand, I had the owner of Leeba Salon on Comm Ave go to town.  I thought it looked pretty good when I left the salon, but the next morning when I tried to do it on my own, it was HEINOUS.  I couldn't even put it behind my ear, and it was really puffy around my face and poodle-like in the back.  I looked like a man.  From all angles. 

The next day, I marched back into the salon sporting my heinous cut and holding the picture, and made a teeny tiny scene.  Saleeba was with a client, but I couldn't wait. 

Me, standing in the front of the salon, looking ridiculous in every way and for all to see:  "THIS [angrily pointing to my hair], is NOT THIS!!!!" [holding up the Gwynny pic]

Saleeba excused himself from his client and took me aside.  I was expecting an apology, but got nothing of the sort.  He said something along the lines of,  "I can cut your hair any way you like, but you will never look like Gwyneth Paltrow."

Ouch!  I got schooled! 

I don't think I have to tell you that I never went back to Leeba Salon, and I spent the next year plotting revenge against Saleeba while growing out my hair. 


I don't think it's a coincidence that my mother thought Catherine and I were dating during this time.

Hold the door!

I'm getting ready to GO SHOPPING for the little one (name undecided), but thought I would share a brief story from yesterday afternoon.

I'll cut right to the chase with the moral of the story:  If there is an obviously prego lady behind you / about to walk through the same door, it's common courtesy to NOT LET THE DOOR SLAM SHUT IN HER FACE (or big belly since that's what is first these days).

I was getting the mail outside of my building, right next to some guy (we'll call him Yankees Hat since that is what he was wearing.  He wasn't only wearing a Yankees Hat though - he had on other clothing too).  I was following him into the building, then - WHAM!  He lets the door almost shut behind him, right where I am walking.  He knew I was there.

I was steaming mad, trying with all of my might not to say something to him.  "Don't say anything Ali, let it go, let it go, don't say anything...."   

Here is the conversation once we were in the elevator:

Me:  "You from New York?"
Yankees Hat:  "Yeah, born and raised."
Me:  "Well I guess in New York they don't teach you to hold open doors for pregnant ladies."
Yankees Hat:  [stares at floor in silence pretending like he has all of a sudden lost his sense of hearing]

Awwwwkwarrrrrddddddddddd