Wednesday, August 15, 2012

oh shit

Flying alone with a 19 month old while 23 weeks pregnant isn't my idea of the most relaxing time.  Oh wait, it's actually my definition of hell.  Well, there ARE worse things like not having enough ice in your margarita or having a cigarette and no lighter (from back in the day, OBVS), but I digress.  Geez, I must be missing my partying days.  THOSE DAYS ARE OVER, ALI.  FOREVER.  GET OVER THEM.  NOW YOU GROCERY SHOP AND WIPE SNOT AND BUTTS AND THAT'S IT.


I'm DREADING having to haul Logan's monster 5,523 lb carseat (which is the equivalent of a la-z-boy* as far as I'm concerned) onto the airplaneS that we are taking in a short 12 days (YAY!  12 more days!!!)  So, Roomie called me this morning to give me a pep talk about using the GogoKidz wheelie thing with the carseat, (yes it's a PITA but what choice do I really have, etc.) and I figured that's that, done deal, GogoKidz + major PITA here we go.  Roomie also said I wasn't allowed to pay the extra $40 for the meet and greet that the car service offers to haul all of my crap to the car that's at the curb.  But I digress.  Again.

Just FYI this is a picture of Logan's carseat
Until this afternoon when I met this bad boy:

What asshole would pay $75 for some jankus straps?
This one.

So I thought I was just the biggest genius of all geniuses, and immediately started harassing people with their thoughts on why this would or would not work.  I've had mixed reviews.

So, I decided we'd take it for a test drive.

Please note Willis's belt as the waist strap.
Here's how it went:


Don't be fooled.  That is not a smile.  That is Logan pre-tantrum flailing around like he is sitting in a bucket of biting mosquitoes.  Grunting.  Weaseling his way out of the bottom because whatever dumbass invented this didn't put a crotch (hate that word) strap, thus making it easy for wild neanderthal babies to escape.

And guess what?  I still think I'm gonna risk it.  Stay tuned.

*when I was little and out to eat with my parents I asked if we could please eat at that restaurant called La-Z-Boy.  I honestly thought you got to sit in a big ass recliner while having your dinner and I thought it was the coolest concept.  My dreams were crushed when I was informed they didn't serve food.  

Saturday, August 11, 2012


This is what being alone with an 18 month old for 3 days while 20 weeks pregnant looks like:

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Austin Ali.... now Boston Ali! (Costin Ali in another 3 years? Get it, ABC?)

T - 25 days.  

Kari* asked the other day, "when are you going to tell your fans about Austin Ali becoming Boston Ali?"  

Good question, Kari.  

I've done a terrible job at keeping my fans (and by fans I mean Kari... and JANET?  Janet, are you still there??  Oh and Moyer, I know you're still around, too) informed of our new adventure.  Well here's the deal, yo.  

August 27th:
One way ticket... AUS-BOS for Logie and Austin Boston Ali = booked!  OMG!  Willis and Sox** will be driving buddies and meet us up there a few days later.  Step on it, Willis!   

You see, when we decided to do the move to Austin I COULD.NOT.WAIT to get out of Boston.  Every day Willis would hear, "STUPID BOSTON, EVERYONE IS ALWAYS RUSH RUSH RUSH, I HATE THE GRIND, OMG, THE GRIIIIIIIIIINDDDDDDDD WILLISSSSSS, THE COMMUTE, THE 502 BUS, OMG THE 502 BUS IS MY NEMESIS, THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN SLOGGING THROUGH THE PRU EVERY MORNING, BLAAAAAHHHH!!!! THANK GOD WE ARE MOVING BLAAAH!!!" and now I absolutely CANNOT.WAIT to go back.  Willis told me at the time, "just because you are dating someone new doesn't mean you have to bash your ex."  Oh Willis, you are so wise.  And it's true.  I honestly have no bad things to say about our soon to be ex-city.  I will miss Austin and only look back on our ~3 years here with fond memories.  

But, it's time to go back... 

In no particular order, here are a few things I am beside myself giddy about:

-Fall.  An actual, for real, legitimate FALL.
-Driving to a family member's house for a holiday as opposed to flying.  "WE'LL BRING THE STUFFING!"  OMG.  We'll bring the mother f*cking stuffing because we can since we are DRIVING.  
-Being with old friends again (who might as well be family at this point).
-Logan (and unknown baby #2) playing with cousins.
-Everyone always being rush rush rush.
-Trees that change colors all around you (see Fall).
-LOGAN'S FIRST SNOWFALL OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.  Oh and unknown baby #2 seeing snow, too.  Sorry unknown baby #2, you are kind of getting shafted here on the excitement but I don't mean to. And, I know it snowed when Logan was born but that was like 1 inch of fake snow.  I digress.
-Being by a fire to get warm.
-Hunkering down for a snowstorm.

See you soon, Boston!  Some oldies but goodies to get you in the spirit....  

(well not really since my mama lives in FL, but you get the idea)

necessary to walk to the packie for booze during a snowstorm.

Willis's nemesis.  Snow on cars.  

Just watch -- I'll be bitching away during the first snowfall we get.  NO I WON'T.  I SWEAR I WON'T.  I MISSED IT SO MUCH.  -schizooooooo  

*the only one who still reads this blog
**another thing I failed to mention to just about everyone I know is that our dear Daisy is no longer with us.  Don't ask, it is too sad to discuss.  Carry on.