The Chair

Logan is two months old today!  I can't really remember what has happened over the last 60 days, and I think that's with good reason.  Seriously.  I tried to remember last week and really couldn't -- it just all kind of blends together.

Our latest activity is Logan's refusal to sleep in a crib, even for a few minutes.  Which means if I want to get ANY sleep, I give in and let him sleep on me, in The Chair.  Last night this went on from 11:30pm until morning. 

Austin Ali readers, meet The Chair:

See that nice crib to the right?  Collecting dust.
There are granola bars in that basket on the bookshelf
for when Logan Bear holds me hostage. 
Sometimes I eat like 4 at a time as a meal.

Here.  Look a little closer.  We bought this chair about 3 months ago (yes it was new), and it already looks like some old man (no offense, Dad) has spent 77 of his 80 years on this earth swass-ing it up. 

eeew

To be clear, I don't have swass.  At least right now I don't.  I guess it looks that way from all of the rocking and shh-shhhh-it's-ok-ing it's been getting...??


Want to hear something funny?  I sent Kari a recording of Logan crying, and she tried to save it as the ringtone for when I call her (which I never do anymore).  Well, she accidentally set for when ANYONE calls her.  So, Logan is wailing away in Boston several times a day. 

And as some of you know, I also like to send around pictures of Logan Bear doing this:

I sent a few to Kari over the weekend, and her BBM response was this:

Kari:  "OMG.  All the pix add up to a lot of questions?"
Me:  "Yeah?  What questions?"
Kari, two days later:  "Haha, I was hammered when I wrote that.  I don't even know what it means."

HILARIOUS!

Bunchy McBuncherson

The other day I told Willis that I was going to go change into my PJs... to which he answered, "those aren't your PJs?"  I'm lookin' good, baby, good!!  For example:

I look like I have a VERY bad illness of some sort.

OK -- and can we talk about Logan's hairline?  How cute is that?!  He's all bald except for a few patches in the back.  He has also started doing this really funny burrowing-his-head-type thing into your chest when he sleeps while making a throaty grunting noise -- like he just can't take it anymore. 

I hear ya, buddy. 

And in case you were holding out on ordering Logan Bear's gift until after you found out his nicknames for the monogram design, here they are (in no particular order):

(1.)  Fussy McFusserson
(2.)  Bunchy McBuncherson
(3.)  Fussy Pants
(4.)  Party Pooper
(5.)  The General (this is interchangeable with The President, The Boss [not to be confused with Bruce Springsteen], etc.  You get the drift)

and last but not least, my personal favorite...

(6.)  Butthead*

*ok, this one might seem a little mean -- but he doesn't understand English yet (or any language for that matter), so when you say it in a really nice, high pitched baby voice, he thinks it is a term of endearment.

 

He loves his daddy.  LOOK.AT.THAT.HAIR...
...and the state of my living room -- Dear God!

Before I take off for my evening slumber (9pm-midnight), here's one last pic of my special boy:

I MEAN HAVE YOU EVER?!?!????  ME EITHER.  L.O.V.E.  H.I.M.

HELLO AGAIN!

What the hell happened to the last 2 weeks?!  I really had better intentions for Austin Ali. 

Here are a few snippets of the past two weeks.

Willis and I were able to go on 2 "dates" last week when Mimi was here (Mimi for President!) and as we were on our way to Date #2, it occurred to me that the only I thing I had to tell Willis about was the fact that I found Size 1 diapers with the pee indicator line on Amazon. 
Then I had 2 drinks and got hammered, according to my BREAST milk alcohol indicator test strips.  So, I PUMPED AND DUMPED as they say, while having another glass of wine.

Logan Bear's favorite new activity and facial expression.

In case you were wondering, here are a few examples of the conversations that go on in our house these days:

Me:  "Why do people DO this?  People who have more than one kid are demented."
Willis:  "Well once you are stuck with one, you might as well just keep it going, I guess?"

Willis [talking to Logan in a baby voice, while he's crying. AGAIN.]:  "Logan, can you BELIEVE that mommy was dying to have a baby?" 
Me:  "BULLSHIT!  YOU were the one who said that you weren't getting any younger!  This is your fault!" 

Me:  "This has to get better, otherwise people would just leave their kids places all the time."
Willis:  "You can't do that -- it's illegal."
Me:  "No you can legally just leave them at fire stations I think and they can't do anything to you."

Willis:  "Imagine if Logan can really understand English, and now every time we pass by a fire station he gets nervous?"

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In the here's-why-babies-must-be-worth-it camp, he's started to smile!  He has also started losing his hair, except for a big patch in the back (I think it looks like Donald Trump).  I make mohawks out of it while he's BREAST feeding. 

I tried to get his smile in a picture today, but this is all I got -- the half smile / knuckle sandwich pose:

I just realized  he's wearing the same shirt as above.
I swear we change his clothes every once in a while.

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I can count on one hand the number of times I've left my house since February 1st, and a Big Trip to Target happened to make the list.  That is were I found my future bathing suits:

Time for sleep!