Tuesday, December 27, 2011


As I have recently discussed, I DO have fleeting thoughts about getting k'd up again...

...But then when I think about what that really MEANS, I can't help but go back to this moment:

please note the following:
  • the blood sugar testing kit on my lap
  • the cold dishrag on my canks, since a regular washcloth wasn't big enough
  • my sweet arm braces!  (I can't remember if that was before or after I dropped the left one in the toilet then had to keep wearing it.)
  • the ice water that basically had to be sewn to my hip, HEAVEN FORBID I WAS EVER WITHOUT MY WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • I hated that apartment (random thought)
no.  thank.  you.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

2 things

1.)  We are working on colors and objects with Logie.  I crack up EVERY TIME I point out his blue ball from his Gymboree set.  "Logie, there's your green ball!  Oh and there is your blue ball!"   AAHAHAHHAHAHHAAAA 

2.)  Is this not the funniest thing you have ever seen?  I thought so. 

Peace out, mofos!  

Wednesday, December 21, 2011


Please forgive the formatting as I'm on le ipad... but I would like to take a moment to share what a week is like in the Austin Ali house in terms of le bebe #2 discussion. WHY DO I KEEP SAYING LE!? tool alert!

MONDAY: "why the hell would we think about EVER having another baby? People who have more than one kid are insane."

TUESDAY: "omg! Did you see the picture of Whitney's sweet new baby? omg he's so cute, and look at Elliott all cute and big-brotherly like next to him. We need to have another one like now. In fact, why aren't I pregnant?!"

WEDNESDAY: "How do people who are pregnant keep UP with babies who are crawling all over tarnation?  HOW DO THEY DO IT?! what the fVck we are never having another kid."

THURSDAY: "you're PREGNANT!!!???" (wouldn't you like to know WHO!!!!! not tellinnnnnnnnggggg) [insert envy feelings here]

FRIDAY: "I'm so happy to be able to drink wine again. I'm not getting preg for another 3 years AT LEAST."

SATURDAY: "oh, look at these little feet in Logan's home videos, ohmygod, where is the time going, ohmygod, I need another baby, ohmygod."

SUNDAY: "I have a girls weekend coming up in March, and if that gets ruined by me being preg, someone's gonna get HURT."

Thursday, December 15, 2011

A letter

Dear Logie's turds,

I'd like to have a quick word with you guys. 

You seem to be confused as to when it's ok to show up in my kid's diaper.  An example of a time that it is NOT ok to appear is like the other morning, at 4:30am.  6:15am is also an example of a time that you are not welcome in my house (or my kid's diaper). 

See, I don't really think I'd be able to sleep with a big flat mashed potato-like rock in my pants, either, so I can't blame the guy.  So this is YOUR fault, turds.  The lack of sleep I've been getting is YOUR fault (along with Sox's, but that's a whooole 'nother letter). 

Thank you for your consideration. 

-Austin Ali

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

High Five

Hello cute toddler in my kitchen, what is your name again and what have you done with my baby, Logan?

We can thank Borat for this new party trick, because all we have been saying over and over and over and over again in the Austin Ali house this week is "hey Logan!  Higha Fiva!"

I'm tired, yo.  WHERE IS ALL OF MY ENERGY!?

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

oh hello.

We have returned from California (did you even KNOW I was in California!?  I feel like we don't even communicate anymore) and I will be delighted to share details of our trip once I am not completely traumatized from the flight home. ::cough cough LOGAN SCREAMED FOR HALF THE FLIGHT cough cough:: 

Oh and Patty the flight attendant, you can kiss THIS:

this is for you, Patty.  Sitting in a "no cry zone" my gnome ASS! 

  Until then, can we talk about how big this baby is getting?!   WTF. 

I'm sorry, who are you?  Have you seen my baby, Logan? 

Tonight he discovered the Christmas Tree.  I swear he understands English.  I swear.  Because I had JUST said to Willis, "dude*, can you believe he hasn't started f*cking with the tree yet, or at least his presents?"  And then just like that, he crawled over and started going to town.  Mimi and Pops sent a few more goodies, so maybe he was interested in his new loot. 


And here he is in action, futzing with the tree:

 It's our 3rd wedding anniversary tonight!  So we shall drink wine and eat pork.


*so hot and heavy in this house.  brown chicken brown cowwwwww.