Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Logie's New Wheels

Christmas came early for Logie today, thanks to Mimi and Pops!  He was so excited about his new ride.  18 months + you say, mr. car?  nah.  10 months will work just fine. 

fun!  for me?  I love hanging out outside.

mom, doesn't dada usually do this stuff? 

all...my...friends... knowthelowrider

not sure about this...are you sure you put it together right?
now I'm feeling fancy!  beep beep!

mom, why do you look like you're dropping a d on the
sidewalk?  you are so embarassing. 

room for my ipad

Monday, November 28, 2011

Homicide

Last night after Willis and I had dinner, my face immediately turned magenta and started feeling really hot and all tight.  Like I was having some sort of reaction.

me: "Willis!  Do you see my face?  Why is it all red?  ohmygod I think I'm having some sort of an allergic reaction!"
Willis:  "It definitely looks red.  Do you have a fever?"
me:  "No.  Did you put something in the food to try and poison me?  I have a small child you know."
Willis:  "Nope.  And I didn't use any ingredients that we haven't had before.  Weird."  [totally NOT concerned] 
me:  "What if my throat starts to close?  Do you have a plan?  I won't joke around like it is closing or something because this is serious.  Will you just call 911 or try and drive me to the hospital?  What will you do with Logan, let him sleep or take the time to put him in his carseat??!  There might not be time."
Willis:  "I'll just call 911."

[30 minutes passes, and my face is still on fire and bright red]

me:  "Are you sitting there wondering why I'm not dead yet?  Like why whatever you put in my food didn't work??"
Willis:  "nope."

HEY WILLIS -- I'M STILL HEEEEEEEEREEEEEEE

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Scary Duck

Someone is now TERRIFIED of taking a bath in his new duck tub. 

So we are trying to get him used to it.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Rising Star

Well, it happened.  The pivotal moment when you know that you are, in fact, an adult. 

You would think the realization occurs when you buy a house, get married or have a kid.  But it doesn't.  The only thing that really does it...

...is busting up the neighborhood high school girl's party at 12:45am on a Saturday night.

Willis told me all about it this morning, and I'm still dying over it.  Why do I find this so funny!?  Oh, because I used to be that girl (sorry again, Mimi and Pops).  And I guarantee she is shittinginherpants as we speak, totally thinking that we are going to tell her parents (we aren't).  The even FUNNIER part about all of this is that Party Girl's mother told me all about how her daughter was a "Rising Star" at the local high school, how responsible she is, and how I should get her to babysit Logan.  A few days after that conversation, Willis saw her sneaking out of her house.  h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s.  Oh, high school.  Those were the days.

Here's how it all went down.

Willis had Nathan over last night to watch "the fight" (Manny Pacquiao against Marquez*), and I guess the game didn't end until well after midnight.  Willis said after Nathan left he was watching TV, and started hearing yelling, banging and music outside.  A hullabaloo, if you will.  A brouhaha.

He walked across the street to a less-than-half-open garage, a game of beer pong, and loud music**.

:::BANG BANG BANG:::

[Party Girl slides underneath the garage door in .4 seconds, "like a ninja!" (Willis's words)]

Willis:  "You have two options.  Either turn down the music and close the garage door and I don't call the cops, or don't turn down the music and keep the garage door open and I DO call the cops."

Party Girl, shitting in her pants:  "No problem, we'll turn the music off."

Drunk high school punk inside garage:  "Who the hell was THAT guy?!"

Wills:  "I'm the guy that owns the house across the street.  And I'm still standing on the other side of this door, tough guy."

Oh, Willis.  You crack me up.

I was half expecting our house to be toilet papered and/or our cars to be egged, but alas, all seems to be quiet in suburbia this morning.  And I bet someone ::cough cough, Party Girl:: has a wicked hangover. 
Have fun stormin the castle, you Rising Star! 
xoxo, Willis and Austin Ali


*ew, boxing
**If I didn't have a kid I would have totally showed those punks who's boss at BP.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Sunday Bloody Sunday

This afternoon as Logie and I were at HEB picking out lean ground beef for a chili recipe I was making (total housewife SCORE), I busted a guy checking out my ass.  And I immediately thought, "oh honey.  You're looking at THIS?  It used to be a LOT better."  Then I kind of felt bad for the guy.  Like, sorry that you had to be subjected to that, dude.  I mean, I know that your eyes are just programmed to look at ANY ass that's in sight, so I'm sorry that mine had to be the one in your line of vision.  My now very large ass, looking all long and wide in my stretched-out Old Navy yoga pants that have never actually been to yoga*... sigh. 

I was laughing to Willis about it after I got home while making the chili (JUST A REMINDER, TOTAL HOUSEWIFE SCORE), and then I said, "and everyone was in the worst mood at the store tonight.  Like everyone was all in each other's way, huffing and puffing and in a hurry.  What's the rush?"  And Willis said, "it's probably because they have to work tomorrow."

And then I remembered... Sunday.  I used to HATE Sundays.  That horrendous feeling that I used to get on Sunday afternoons that would just linger into the night, getting worse the darker it got.  That nauseous, anxious feeling of impending doom that didn't go away until at least lunchtime on Monday, when I would be too busy to feel sick to my stomach anymore.  It totally sucked and I feel bad for Willis because I'm sure that is how he is feeling at this very moment.  In fact I know he is.  You can even kind of feel it in the house... that wet cloud feeling of dread. 

OMG how dramatic am I?! 

On a cuter note, check out my fave video that I can't stop playing.  Many of you have already seen it, but here it is anyway....



HAVE YOU EVER!?  me either. 

Here's another one of Logie's favorite game, called Trust Fall.  Basically you better be behind him at all times when he's standing, because chances are he's going to just... let go.  And yes, he is wearing leg warmers.



Hope nobody has a case of the Mondays!


*FYI I have been to yoga, just not these specific pants.  You know, since I know you were worried about it. 

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Picture Pages III


damnit Logie, lay still!  mama wants to get cozy!

This bandaid was fished out of the BACK OF LOGAN'S THROAT.
I lost 18 years of my life from stress when I made this discovery at the
checkout line of HEB.  And yes, it was his, thank bejeezus.
BROWNCHICKENBROWNCOOOOOOOW
Dr. Kahn loved his pumpkin!  We heart Dr. Kahn.