It's On.

Dear scorpions,

Hi.  I see that you're back.  How was your winter?  Ours was glorious.  We got to hang out on the back patio like pigs in shit -- even sometimes BAREFOOT -- because we knew you guys were "hibernating."  I even gardened in FLIP FLOPS.  Did we become complacent?  Nope.  We didn't!  We were just enjoying the break from our war with you.  Enjoying the end of the Scorpion Count of 2011.

Last year's was 19 I believe?  I'll have to confirm with Willis.  He'll know right away.

It appears that 2012's began this morning, around 10am. Which means that The War has re-begun, too.  Re-begun?  WTF?  Anyway, Willis said that he knew it was coming soon.
We're back at 1.  Inside.  The bedroom.  So that's like 54,798 as far as I'm concerned.

See, last year we kind of let you guys win for a while.  We got all timid-like, saying things like, "we can't be in the same region as these scorpions, we have to move, omg scorpions scorpions scorpions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  But now, IT IS ON.  ON LIKE SCORPION KONG.  You exoskeletor little shits.

I've already had a call with Colin Mr. Supervisor of the bug company to make sure he knows how very serious this war really is.  He's into it.  He's on board.  He's even calling Mr. Tech to have a little pep talk with him to tell him THERE IS NO MESSING AROUND.  WE ARE EVEN GOING TO USE POISON.

The war is on, you little assholes, and we plan to win.

Very truly yours,
AustinAli

PS -- ok but you might totally be winning today, because I could really use a nap but I'm too scared to go back in the bedroom.  Thank you and goodnight.