Logan's Billboard: Update

It was a hit!

aw mom, I sure am cute.

who's THAT handsome devil!?

It almost ended up being a total disaster because there was one little part on the top that I just HAD to mess with because it didn't look even.  It was taunting me.  So I started cutting.  And Xacto-knifing.  And cutting some more.  It started looking like total shit so I ended up at Michael's framing counter to have them fix it with their big cutting machines.  For the bargain price of ZERO DOLLAHS!  woot woot!

don't do this if you decide to make a billboard of your child...
this free hand cutting business.

One more tip........

once you are done, don't leave the hammer in the crib for your husband
to find when he is putting your baby down for his afternoon nap.
BAD MOM ALERT!

Logan's Billboard

I'm sure you all have seen this floating around the internet crack den Pinterest -- the "how to make a giant picture for cheap."  

WELL, AUSTIN ALI DECIDED TO GIVE IT A WHIRL.  I totally did it THIS MORNING.  And Logan is still napping.  That's how easy it was.  OK fine, Willis put Logie down for his nap while I was at Staples because he could tell I had a bee in my bonnet, but you get the drift.

Wanna see how it turned out?  Sure you do.  I'd give it a B-.  Only because I f'd up a few things.

I will just tell the story in pictures because I'm too tired to type.  Oh, and one thing I changed about the process was buying a black board so you don't have to involve paint.  Lady, THEY MAKE BLACK BOARDS FOR A REASON.   

Jessica coined it "Logan's Billboard."
Please see the flips to your left to truly understand the mammoth scale.

Sox is so annoying

cutting

still annoying.....

this is a recreation of what happened in the garage because I was too
worried about getting asphyxiated to stick around to take pics

done.  no, it is not correctly lined up on the board.
it's like 1/2 an inch off longways.  whatevs, I'm over it.
and it's not the highest quality item out there, but for $6!?
I'll take it.

I'll post the FINAL FINAL version hanging over The Dictator's  Logan's crib when he gets up.  Because he's still sleeping.

Another battle

So, there have been attempted break-ins in our 'hood.  Like, several.  And I'm kind of surprised by it.  I'm not saying that we live in the most expensive neighborhood in Austin, but we certainly don't live in the ghetto.  So Mama's scared.

So, I decided that I was going to take measures into my own hands.

omg how ghetto is our back door?  the previous owners gave us
$ to replace it in the P&S at closing, but we decided
to spend it on something else.
But I'm not sure what.  

Pops said that my note should be less polite, but I explained to him that I was being sarcastic with the "thanks."  But then he said that burglars can't understand sarcasm.

I DO know that they haven't been prowling lately, because someone who shall remain nameless [::cough cough WILLIS cough cough::] left the ipad outside like all night the other night, and it was still there.
Anyway, Happy Monday!  WAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH suckkkaaaaahs!

Logie's fave new activities

playing keep away

Talking Tom, I love you.  I'll give you another hug just to prove it.

MUST.TAKE.MY.NEW.BALL.EVERYWHERE.EVEN.TO.GET.
MEXICAN.FOOD.

"What are you looking at?"

Did you know I have a baby?

Here's a video of my baby, Logan, in case you've never seen a picture or video of him since I feel like I never really talk about him much.

A Funeral

Austin Ali is in mourning today.

I got some news last night from one of my dear, bestie friends (Lisa) that we are now without an important member of our group back home.

that's Lisa.  and 1/2 of Kari.  Oh and B. 

It's very sad.  So I'll just go ahead and just say it.

The one who is no longer with us... is Lisa's appendix.

this is a picture of Lisa's appendix.

Let's all unite while we pay our respects.

it was totally enlarged so it had to have an extra big casket.

It's On.

Dear scorpions,

Hi.  I see that you're back.  How was your winter?  Ours was glorious.  We got to hang out on the back patio like pigs in shit -- even sometimes BAREFOOT -- because we knew you guys were "hibernating."  I even gardened in FLIP FLOPS.  Did we become complacent?  Nope.  We didn't!  We were just enjoying the break from our war with you.  Enjoying the end of the Scorpion Count of 2011.

Last year's was 19 I believe?  I'll have to confirm with Willis.  He'll know right away.

It appears that 2012's began this morning, around 10am. Which means that The War has re-begun, too.  Re-begun?  WTF?  Anyway, Willis said that he knew it was coming soon.
We're back at 1.  Inside.  The bedroom.  So that's like 54,798 as far as I'm concerned.

See, last year we kind of let you guys win for a while.  We got all timid-like, saying things like, "we can't be in the same region as these scorpions, we have to move, omg scorpions scorpions scorpions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  But now, IT IS ON.  ON LIKE SCORPION KONG.  You exoskeletor little shits.

I've already had a call with Colin Mr. Supervisor of the bug company to make sure he knows how very serious this war really is.  He's into it.  He's on board.  He's even calling Mr. Tech to have a little pep talk with him to tell him THERE IS NO MESSING AROUND.  WE ARE EVEN GOING TO USE POISON.

The war is on, you little assholes, and we plan to win.

Very truly yours,
AustinAli

PS -- ok but you might totally be winning today, because I could really use a nap but I'm too scared to go back in the bedroom.  Thank you and goodnight.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!

Oh hello!  Did you miss me?  I totally missed you guys.  (I kind of forgot my login for a while, then I went out of town (TWICE!) but now I'm back.  Can we make up and get back together?  I love you and I always will.)

Here's what's been going on.

Mama went away on a girls' trip (Logie and Willis had maj boy bonding time!!), and then while Willis was away in Cali last week  (with his other family), Logie and I visited Mimi and Pops in Florida.  Oh, how were the flights, you ask? I'll tell you since you asked so nicely.

First and foremost, Logie would like to send a personal apology to the elderly Indian couple seated next to us on the way there for [repeatedly] spraying them with milk from his sippy.  It's a new trick he's learned... load up the straw with milk between the teeth, then flick it out to spray everywhere.  He has amazing aim.  He also learned a new trick we'll call The 360.  Here's how you do it:  roll around on your mom's lap over and over and over and over and over instead of sleeping, all while crying.  He is such a good multitasker!  It was so awesome.  Oh and last but certainly not least, I'd like to give a big UP YOURS to the pilot for barreling over the loudspeaker the second Logie FINALLY fell asleep.  To tell us nothing.

I'd also like to give a big (for real, genuine, like not even sarcastic) thanks to the cheapskates on the flight home for not ponying up the extra $30 for extra legroom... cause that meant Logie and I got our own, huge, penthouse row ALL TO OURSELVES!  We were basically doing jumping jacks and snow angles on the floor the whole ride home, just because we could.

I'm gonna spread all my shit out everywhere just because I can.
Here Rocky, you can even have your OWN SEAT.

And just in case you need a dose of major cuteness in your day...

come ON Mom, I'm losing major cred here in this getup.
Can we at least lose the pansy hat?

OH... One more thing!!!!

*

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*just kidding.