wonder

There are a few things in this world that really make me wonder.  Are there really UFOs?  What about ghosts?  When you die, are you just dead in the ground?  If you ARE just dead in the ground, then why do people spend so much money on caskets?  I could understand if you were going to be visiting the casket every once in a while from the dead -- I'd want a little satin in there, too.  Nice and soft.  But just laying there, rotting away in a thousand dollar* box?  Doesn't make much sense to me.

There are also a few things in the "mortal world," shall we say, that also...bewilder me. 

• Why do garbage cans cost so much money!?  I don't understand.  $130?  I mean, really?  Do these people not know what you put in these things?  I'm putting slimy corn cobs in here, people.  Paper that has snot on it.   

get over yourself, Simplehuman.

• I often see stickers on the outside of restaurants, stores, etc. that say things like "2003 Citysearch Pick"  or "2007 Zagat Best Restaurant."  Really?  You are going to call attention to the fact that you haven't won an award in that many years?  What about Willis's new grill RUB** that brags about their award in 1995??  Granted, they won a best on the PLANET award which I think is probably like THE award for a RUB.  But 1995?  If you aren't going to be ashamed of not winning that award again for 16 years, the least you could do is remove it from your label.   

  Even the see-no-evil figurine I bought hammered on a beach
  in Jamaica can't deal with this 1995 business.

  

Want to know what I did tonight as my baby SLEPT?

HAHA I WAS NAKEY WHEN I TOOK THIS PICTURE

And what about the fact that Willis brought home cinnamon rolls this morning for breakfast?  Poor Willis.  Even gets in trouble when he tries to do something nice.  I yelled at him and said "Willis!  Why do you think I can't get into a bathing suit right now!?  Stop bringing this shit home!!!!"  Mimi had like ONE BITE -- I had the rest.  Yes, I repeat -- I ate all of these.  In one day. 

Willis, can you watch Logan while I attend my OA*** meeting?

Having a blast with Mimi and Pops!


*I had to do a Google search for "how much are caskets."  My guess was 3k  Gave me the absolute WILLIES seeing all those casket pictures staring back at me. 

**HEINOUS word. 

***Overeaters Anonymous