Saturday, January 8, 2011

I'm not gonna take it.... anymoooore

And no, I'm not referring to being pregs.  I'm referring to CNN Breaking News.  Really, CNN Breaking News?  You send FOUR "breaking news" announcements about the same shooting at a grocery store in AZ, saying some politician died, then send ANOTHER one to say you were wrong and the person isn't dead?  Come on.  Ever heard of a little story about the boy who cried wolf?  Stop trying to be Tally McTattletale-first-to-know-everything and get it right.  I am considering unsubscribing to your email service -- WHICH I KNOW WOULD REALLY MATTER TO YOU.

By the way, I think that I have figured out a part time gig to make a little extra cash, but it has to happen quick.  My service would be called, "PREGO PSA:  What nobody tells you happens when you're preg."  I could be a speaker-for-hire that gives talks to middle school and high school girls about what will REALLY happen to you/your body (the word "body" kind of makes me feel weak in the butt, by the way) if you do the dirty deed and get knocked up.  I would stand (well maybe sit in a chair with a matching ottoman) at a podium in a big gym with some blown up pictures of various parts of my deformed body to really make an impact.  "Look, kids, at what happens to your feet.  And do you REALLY want to be sporting these sweet arm braces to Friday night's football game?  This picture here on the right shows the deep, red stretch marks that you get.  Look, they are so deep there is even some lint stuck in the one on the bottom left.  THINK JOHNNY'S GONNA LIKE YOU NOW!?!??!?!" 

I bet the teenage prego rate would plummet. 

Today Willis and I went to Costco and I was whining about my back so Willis deposited me in the below chair / ottoman while he went hunting and gathering for our paper products, then came back to pick me up to leave.  It was awesome.  AND YES, I AM WELL AWARE THAT I LOOK LIKE A BEACHED WHALE. 
I had a whale of a time today at Costco.

And don't worry, I have a backup plan in case my PSA speaker business doesn't work out.  The show "Hoarders:  Buried Alive" wants to pay me to use the below pictures of our garage.  ALL baby boxes.  I was too paranoid to throw anything away (issssueeeeesssssss), but it had gotten so bad it was even bothering Willis.  So, I finally gave in and let him throw all of them away.  As I was protesting he pointed to the chain/Little Willis and firmly said, "ALI." 

Willis meant business. 


Off to get ready for some friends to come over for dinner!  And by getting ready for friends coming over for dinner I mean supervise Willis Dysoning. 

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