Ode to Willis

I'm a huge fan of Willis.  Which is probably a good thing, considering I married him and all.  Plus, now I'm REALLY stuck with him seeing as though I'm unemployed and listed as his dependent!  Ah!

Did you know that Willis ran for governor of Texas?  It's true.  It happened yesterday and he didn't even know it.  We were on our way back from Logan's Dr. appt., and Willis wanted to stop and vote.  I have been a bit preoccupied and haven't been paying attention to any of the candidates, so I decided I wasn't going to vote.  I know, I know.  Lecture noted.  ANYWAY, even though I was just going to wait next to him, I somehow got in the shuffle and ended up with a voting sticker and at one of the booths.

So, I decided to write in Willis for governor.  Looking back, I probably should have just listed "Willis" but I put his full name instead.  I watched the news last night to see if they mentioned him, but they didn't.  Willis didn't seem too upset (or surprised) that they didn't say his name. 

Here are a few funny things that Willis said yesterday.  At least I think they are funny.

Funny statement #1:  As we were leaving the Dr., I had to stop to use the facilities.  I said, "Hang on, I need to go."  As I handed Willis my purse to hold he said, "Ok.  I'll just be over here by the vagina." 

[note I HATE the word vag--- so we'll call it vag.]  He was standing next to a vag model that was in the Dr.'s office - you know, one of those medical thingees that show all the female parts?  Not a REAL vag model/person, you pervs.  I tried to Google it so I could put a picture to show you, but for some reason lots of other kinds of vages showed up that I thought were inappropriate for even you. 

Funny statement #2:  Yesterday on our way home I saw one of those missing cat signs on a stop sign.  I always get so sad when I see these, because I can't imagine how I would feel to lose Sox or Daisy.  I said, "oh, I get so sad when I see those missing pet signs.  Poor people."  And Willis said, "well, you could always start a pet detective business."  Ok maybe you had to be there, but I found this hilarious.  But maybe this is just Willis's way to tell me to get the hell back to work.  Hmm.... 

Funny statement #3:  I hinted to Willis that I wanted an eternity band (and by hinted I mean I said, "I want an eternity band with the diamonds and sapphires").  When I told him that if he got it for me it meant I would love him for eternity (not really the best selling point since we aren't exactly the type of couple to gaze into each other's eyes and talk about our undying love for one another) he said, "that's not what it means.  It means I never have to get you another gift for all of eternity." 

Remember how I said my feet hurt?  Well, I heard Crocs are good for prego feet, so I went and got a pair.  This is the only kind they had, but I'll (clearly) wear anything at this point if it makes them stop throbbing.

Something tells me my chances of getting that eternity band would

increase tremendously if I wasn't sporting these when Willis gets home.

Lastly, can we talk about this JACKASS?  Yes, that is two handicapped spots they have taken over, and no, there isn't a handicapped sticker on his/her car - I checked.  I almost left a note on their windshield that said, "you ass hole", but I was too scared of getting caught.  I also almost ratted them out to the store I was going into, but I thought that would be bad tattle karma.

bye!